I’m days away (I could even start counting the hours), from the start of the marathon. I have the “I haven’t run enough” taper week anxiety. Today was my last easy run until the big day. I did speak with a good running friend last night and he gave me some good advice, “Don’t do anything different, you know that you’re not going to be able to do anything this week to make the run better, but you can do things to make it worse”.
He makes a good point, right now there is nothing I can do but get myself to the start line as healthy as possible. So, I’m doing what I can to hydrate, eat good meals, pack all of my comfort items and essentials and be like a boy scout — be prepared for anything that happens Sunday morning.
I’m very fortunate to have this experience — this race is a bucket list item for many runners and my entry was handed to me on a platter. What I plan to do is run slow and enjoy every minute. My finish time is less important to me then just getting to the finish line. I tend to compare myself to others abilities and speeds and don’t actually consider myself a “runner”. I’m just a girl that “runs”. This however is very flawed thinking, I tell everyone else that if you run, you are by god a runner. It’s hard to take your own advice sometimes.
I’ve not told many people what I’m doing on Sunday, mostly because I don’t want the questions “how’d it go?, what was your time?, how’s your training?, Are you ready?”. These questions give me anxiety because I know that I could have ran more, done speed workouts, hill repeats, ate better meals, drank more water, etc.. I know these questions come from the heart and are meant to be kind, interested and supportive, but in my mind they feel judge-y and I’m already hard on myself, I don’t need others to be disappointed in me (at least in my mind).
Another friend gave me even better advice recently, “My fingers and toes are crossed for good weather! From there – you’ll have a ball! It doesn’t matter how fast you go or how many times you stop to high-five, hug, or take a photo with someone – it’s all about the journey”. She is 100% correct, at the end of the run on Sunday I won’t care what the time clock says or how much pain my legs, feet, or back are in. I’ll be grinning ear to ear with the memories I made with 50,000 of my closest running friends.
Here’s to being a legend in my own mind.